Over the years, I've had my fair share in dealing with various situations in relationships. Being
a geek an IT professional in my day job, I can't help but notice the similiarity of it to the HTTP error codes a web server gives out to the client browser, especially when it comes to rejections. Among the common ones (in accordance to the RFC 2616 standards):
404 Not Found:
Girl not found, i.e. that Dream Girl or The One. Sometimes also used as the response you give when people ask "Why aren't you married yet?" or "Dude, where's your girlfriend/wife/date?"
Request not allowed. Usually to go out on a date, for a long term relationship or sex. Sometimes it is preceded by a 401 Unauthorized (see below). Parents of the girl are also known to issue such response.
Girl doesn't know you (or pretends not to know you). If she does, it is usually followed by the 403 Forbidden error code (see above) like when you ask for her phone number or any other personal details (direct or via a proxy). Also issued by the girl's parents sometimes when they don't know you (or pretend not to know you).
400 Bad Request:
Girl doesn't like your request. Mostly due to that choice of eatery you suggest to go to on that lunch/dinner date, the kinky lingerie you ask her to wear or that "monkey pulls the turnip" karma sutra position that you're eager to try out.
301 Moved permanently:
Girl has moved elsewhere/changed phone numbers. Most likely she has had enough of your stalking or your incessant requests to try out that "monkey pulls the turnip" karma sutra position.
500 Internal Server Error:
Girl having PMS.
503 Service Unavailable:
Girl not answering your phone calls.
With this, it is hoped that fellow
nerds geeks out there will have a proper understanding as to why you're not getting that elusive 200 OK code.
I got this one done late last year as I was finishing up "Selamat Tinggal Genie". It's a mashup of Shazzy's "Lagu Puisi" with Wilber Pan and Xian Zi's "Bu De Bu Ai". I initially released it among my friends on Facebook first trying to gauge the response before actually releasing it on the interweb in conjunction with the coming Chinese New Year. If anything, I hope the Year of the Ox will help me further my musical
bullshitting mangling skills.
Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone!
Download: Shazzy & Xian Zi - Puisi Bu De Bu Ai
I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick
With just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun
Such is my reality
A sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see?
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
Happy New Year! And I hope I'm not being too ironic to start it off with a "Selamat Tinggal" (that's "goodbye" to you non-Bahasa speaking people).
This mashup features Nikki (of Malaysian Idol fame) with her latest single "Selamat Tinggal", Shazzy with "Kenapa" and Christina Aguilera with "Genie In A Bottle". For once, I really wanted to do a mash that can tell a story from a lyrical standpoint rather than just slapping songs that fit together musically. So it took me awhile indeed to complete this one as compared to the previous mashes that I've done. Heck! Some parts even went through a re-recording! (Thanks much, Shazzy!)
I owe lots to Pam Yuen, Audi Mok and Shazzy for the guidance and most of all, the permission to do this! I should also thank the production team for Christina Aguilera's Genie In A Bottle but I might end up making this entry sound like the acknowledgement section you usually see on those CD inserts.
Download: Nikki Vs. Shazzy (feat. Christina Aguilera) - Selamat Tinggal Genie [mp3:selamattinggalgenie.mp3]
A preview of what's coming (or should I say leaving?)
"Sekian lama telah ku simpan rasa ini di hati, baru kini ku berani 'tuk menyatakan oh gadis, dikau punca segala kepedihan di hatiku, tak ingin lagi ku lihat wajah mu di hadapanku!"
After getting a Wii back in March, we finally managed to get our hands on a Wii Fit. As if it's not ridiculous enough that we're frantically waving our hands in the air when playing games that uses the Wiimote, we get to do it with our whole bodies now. The games on Wii Fit are adequate to make one break into a sweat and some religious nutheads scream "Infidel!" when doing the yoga part that comes with it, even though there are no chants involved (I'm not sure if the Wii Fit actually went through JAKIM's vetting process).
I'm still holding out for that wiife though. If anything, watching her do the hula (ala the Wii Fit Girl) would be enough to increase my heart rate and break me into a sweat.
Do you know you can turn a very innocent sounding sentence to a rather sexually suggestive one just by saying "... if you know what I mean!" at the end of almost any sentence? For example:
Friend: Do you have problems waking up in the morning?
Me: Yeah, I always have a hard time waking up in the morning.
Friend: Do you have problems waking up in the morning?
Me: Yeah, I always have a hard time waking up in the morning... if you know what I mean!
Go ahead. Make yourself like The Todd at the Christmas and New Year's parties you'll be attending. Just don't call me if you end up getting pepper sprayed, kicked in the nuts or sued for sexual harassment from the above.
Have a good Christmas celebration to those celebrating and happy holidays to all!
Shazzy gave me a bunch of his rap acapellas from his debut "Aku Melayu" album for me to mess about with. I managed to put him together with The X-ecutioners, Mike Shinoda (of Linkin Park) and Eminem on this track. He doesn't want to admit it but I hope this will revive his rap career, albeit with a different producer. ;)
Shazzy is also an accomplished saxophonist. Check out his wicked remake of Careless Whisper.
Download: Shazzy Vs. X-ecutioners (feat. Eminem) - It's Going To Lose A-A-Apa Satu Dua
It's only been 158 days since Tok passed away. Last weekend on Sunday, December 14 at 11:30am, Uncle Odin passed away after suffering a massive stroke two days earlier. He was 60. Nobody saw it coming. Uncle Odin was the one who took care of Tok for the last 30 years after grandfather passed away. My parents and I were in Miri, Sarawak attending to my cousin's wedding at the time of his death, so needless to say, I had my own "Four Weddings and A Funeral" moment there (three of my other friends also had their weddings on that same weekend). I really hate how the timing of things came about. It blew massive chunks.
Moga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Al-Fatihah.
As if things aren't complicated enough, there are choices to be made. The gut says yes but the heart says no. So do you go with your gut or follow your heart? Or should you consider what the colon is whispering? Oh wait. That's the bowel churning some funky stuff.
Either way, it's gonna be a mess. Follow the heart and the gut's gonna get wrenched. Go with the gut and the heart's gonna ache (enter The Angina Monologues).
Autopsy is not an option.