I turned another year older over the weekend. So it's been 34 years since the day I was evicted from my mother's womb. Apparently, I still have trouble looking the part, let alone acting like one (although with the grey hair that's showing, it's getting a bit easier on the former). Perhaps my belief that "60 is the new 40" contributed to that effect. So if anybody needs affirmation that the power of affirmation works, come see me!

In other news, calling your wife ugly may soon become offence . Meanwhile, you can still get away with the variety of Yo Mama jokes.

Sometimes if you're stuck in traffic with the same people, mile after mile, they genuinely become your neighbors. These are the people you turn to for solace. You complain to each other. First, you make eye contact. Then, little sympathetic sighs and dismissive waves of disgust.

Once in a while, you even roll down the window and chat. "Hey, can you believe this?"

"Well, this sucks, doesn't it? How is it over in your lane? Sucks?"

"Here, too. Sucks. Guess it sucks everywhere, huh?"

You develop a relationship with these people. Which is why I get upset when somebody tries to pass. It's like they're breaking up the relationship.

Your first response? You're shocked. You didn't see this coming. "What do you mean you're leaving? Why? Where are you going? I thought we agreed we'd stick it out together... What is it -- you want to see other cars? Is that it? I guess you need a space of your own, huh? Well, fine. Go... Just go."

And the great moment of revenge: Two minutes later, they come crawling back. They want back in. But, of course, you don't let them in. You've been hurt, scorned -- make them sweat.

"Hey, look who's back. I guess life in the fast lane didn't work out like you planned. Suddenly I'm looking good to you, huh? Well, get in line, baby."

"Oh, and I hear that I'm eligible for that frequent traveller rebate programme on the LDP now too."

Quoting Altimet on his Twitter page, "We wanna say Selamat Datang to H1N1, aka Swine Flu, to Malaysia. unfortunately you are not eligible for the Malaysia My Second Home Program."