Do you find yourself:

• Checking a woman's wedding ring finger when you meet her?
• Mentioning ex-girlfriends early in a conversation so that people don't assume you're gay?
• Having women you are considering hitting on call you 'sir'?
• Saying, 'fifteen years is not that big of an age difference'?
• Sleeping with a Yummy Mummy no longer involve an older woman?
• Having two or more godchildren?
• Thinking 'who are all these old people,' only to find out they're your age?
• Always being put in the worst room of a chalet/villa on holidays?
• Thinking that hair loss a greater threat to the planet than global warming?

If you answered 'yes' to more than half of these questions, you're a SPURMO. You are as endangered as the burrowing owl, mountain gorilla and the Florida manatee.

More on SPURMOs.