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This Is Probably Why I've Been Sans Girlfriend

29 September 2006 13:39

You're the one I dream about
But the only question with me now
Is "Do I creep you out?"
Everytime I shake your hand now
Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
Do I creep you out?
Somethin' I should ask about
Can I sniff the pit-stains on your blouse?
Do I creep you out?
Know exactly where you live now
Follow you from work right to your house
Do I creep you out?

Dedicated to all the ex-es and the misses. Sung to the chorus of Taylor Hicks' (American Idol Season 5 winner) "Do I Make You Proud?". Taken off Weird Al Yankovic's latest album "Straight Outta Lynwood", out now in music stores not in our country. Boo!

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How I Become One With My Muslim Brethrens In Ramadhan

26 September 2006 15:58

Fasting month is back again. It's that time of year where it's PERFECTLY NORMAL to forget eating lunch, still be up at those odd hours and snack right before I hit the sack. It's the only time where I can feel like I gel properly with the rest of my Muslim brethrens in the same timezone as I am as far as the eating/sleeping schedule is concerned. Of course, I still need to work a little bit more when it comes to breaking fast, i.e. at the dinner table with other people and not in the car stuck in traffic or at the office desk like I had to most of the time last year. Then again, that may be just The Dude up there testing my patience to see if I have the strength and willpower not to cuss and lash out at Samy Vellu for causing the traffic buildup at the toll plaza on the road leading to my place.

Anyways, here wishing all you Muslims a fulfilling Ramadhan ahead.

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The Passionate Programmer's Manifesto

24 September 2006 07:24

We are passionate, we are coders, we are hackers and we are artists. We are oversold on corporate opportunities, and are belittled in our reviews as poor communicators, nerds, and egotists. But we are the ones that change the world. We are the ones that make your life easier. We are the ones that devise ways for you to bring your family and friends closer, simply because we thought it would be fun to do so.

More at: The Passionate Programmer's Manifesto

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Re-brokeback'd

21 September 2006 16:01

Same story, different cast. Ayah was involved in a car accident when he crashed Mama's car into another somewhere in Shah Alam yesterday afternoon. Thankfully he's alright although he's feeling some slight discomfort on his chest from the impact. Once again, we're amazed at the efficiency of the police force when we went to the station to file a report. It took a whole hour after waiting for their lunchtime to be over, no less than 5 officers when there was absolutely no queue and RM4 to have another piece of printed paper bearing a stamp that took another 2 officers to prepare. For a moment there, it did feel like I got bitchslapped back to the 70s with their deft demonstration of "many underpaid hands make light work". Thank god they had 3 computers to help them with that reprint too. Heaven knows it might have taken them days had one of those things broke down.

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Getting A Grip On Fate

19 September 2006 15:53

I like to think that we have more control in life than we think and that every action has a reaction. Of course, despite our best efforts, things may still not always work out the way we'd hoped. Still, with so much of life left up to chance, we just can't help but to look back and wonder sometimes, what if things had been different? More often than not, it's the "what ifs" that can hurt the most when you start reflecting on things. That's why try to do as much as you can while you can. Don't make yourself ponder in 20-30 years' time and say, "why the hell didn't I do that last time?" Take chances. Take risks. Things may or may not work out exactly the way you expect it to be. Fate can be on your side sometimes, and there are times you'll be sealing your own fate. If you're a Muslim, I'm sure you know that one must Believe in Divine Destiny along with the others in the Six Articles of Belief. In the end, you just have to trust that whatever's supposed to happen will happen. Good or bad. Better or worse. But don't let that stop you from trying and most importantly, LEARNING from the experience. As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow puts it, "Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear."

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The Incredible Epiphany Machine

5 September 2006 15:20

Here now is what I call my epiphany machine. It's made of porcelain. I sit down on it and take stock of my life (or write deep weblog entries). I can have major epiphanies on the one shown below. There may be others out there that are similiar but it's just not possible to do any soul-searching on those crappers 'cos they're typically germ-infested to the brim. Even if they're clean, there's no guarantee that it will elicit any epiphanies (or bowel movements) like right now when I'm out of town. The unfamiliar "feel" of it at this abode away from home will most likely cause a little bit of verbal constipation on this weblog in the coming few days. But that's not so much of a worry as the possible lack of bowel movements though and I doubt any amount of toilet revolution is gonna help too.

Epiphany Machine

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I Really Should've Learned To Ride The Motorcycle

2 September 2006 10:29

Unlike many other Malay males, I am rather ashamed to admit that I am one of those few who do not know how to ride a motorcycle. After mastering the bicycle (it was my main form of transportation through college), I went on and learnt to drive the caged four wheeler, skipping the motorcycle altogether. I never really thought that it has its consequences until lately. Apparently, Putra UMNO has taken the Mat Rempits under their wings and rebranded them as Mat Cemerlangs. According to Putera UMNO's head Datuk Abdul Azeez Abdul Rahim, the "Mat Cemerlangs are the nation's biggest assets" and are actually a misunderstood lot as well as "having the potential and excellence to become the leaders of tomorrow".

So I had it all wrong. I didn't actually need to slog through school, college, uni, etc. with lessons, lectures, books, exams, etc. only to end up as a single wage slave bachelor struggling my way through to pay the bills for the rest of my life when I could have made untold riches, have women gawk at me in admiration and pleasure me at my will, be recognized as the country's asset and future leader, all by being less of a political fencesitter and getting myself a Lesen Memandu Kelas B2. Oh wait. Those Mat Cemerlangs don't even need to have a legit license too, do they?

On that note, Happy Merdeka, yo!

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Geeky and musically inclined male carbon based bipedal life form capable of operating machines that can perform billions of operations per second without bloodshed. Also capable of producing millions of male reproductive cells on a daily basis without even trying. More...

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